I was inspired by Sparrow’s haiku contest. She’s been running it for some time, and she’s taking a well-deserved break. But, recognizing a good idea when I see it, I’m running a William the Coroner LIMERICK contest.
Using this weeks theme, leave a limerick in the comments. The winner, the one deemed by me to be the best, will get a care package sent in his or her name to a serving service member in harm’s way; one listed on AnySoldier.com. This week’s theme, in honour of the equinox, is FALL
Of course, a limerick is a five line poem, with an A-A-B-B-A rhyme scheme. Most of the popular ones are dirty “There was a young man from Nantucket…(and so forth)” It’s harder to keep them clean, and those will get more points.
Knock yourselves out! This post is open until the end of business FRIDAY 26 September 2008. The announcement will go out on SUNDAY, 28 September, 2008.
William The Coroner's Forensic Files 
Leaves die in denial on the Maine shore
as I feel your absence all that much more.
Geese flying blind
pulling autumn behind
as I trail in their wake to your door.
Comment by Brigid — Monday, 22, September, 2008 @ 19:34 |
You bastard! I wrote a HAIKU about autumn this week!
I mean, anyone can start a limerick. It’s ending them that’s a pain.
Comment by Heather — Monday, 22, September, 2008 @ 19:58 |
The calendar says that it’s fall,
but that doesn’t affect the weather at all.
Las Vegans will tell
it’s still hotter than hell
so let’s go hang at the mall!
I’m so sorry, extremely lame attempt. I’m just better at haiku!
Comment by Christina LMT — Monday, 22, September, 2008 @ 23:10 |
We need light, we need sleep for our strength,
When we take ‘this fast life’ to the Nth.
Is it no paradox
That the old equinox
Brings a calm when they’re equal in length?
Comment by Doug Harris — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 05:50 |
You asked for it:
They say it’s the autumnal equinox.
The time’s right for sweaters and woolly socks.
But my travel plan reaches
To hot Rio beaches,
Skimpy suits, sunburned noses and browned buttocks.
Comment by salome5 — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 08:16 |
And another one. This one in recognition of the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland:
A Swiss girl whose name was sweet Charity
Encountered astrophysical verity
In a black hole she sported
And she came back distorted.
Doctors said it was a singularity.
Comment by salome5 — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 08:29 |
[…] Now, we pause for the pursuit of high art. William the Coroner is looking for artistic types to submit limericks. […]
Pingback by Now, we pause for the pursuit of high art. « Cranky Epistles — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 14:05 |
The time’s come for seasonal change,
When the season turns windy and rains…
And a flood of politics
Gives me nervous tics
As I wonder which blowhard will reign.
[Written under the philosophy of, “vote your conscience, no matter what… because the only certainty is more boring speeches”]
Comment by rj — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 14:09 |
There once was a girl from East Coast
Who did not like to freeze nor to roast
Having done both this week,
She stomped out with a shriek,
“When I find Mother Nature she’s TOAST!!”
Comment by lookingforlissa — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 15:47 |
Fall gives professors fits.
Back-to-school time is really the pits.
Because all the lasses
Return to their classes
In clothes that don’t cover their bits.
Comment by Angry Professor — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 19:16 |
Fleeing fall leaves in Nantucket.
A man flew away to Phuket.
Found him a wife
For the rest of his life.
Now Nantucket leaves don’t suck it.
Comment by Ninth Stage — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 19:40 |
My favourite, with thanks to my dad:
There once was a girl from Japan,
Who’s poems just wouldn’t scan.
When asked why this was,
She said it’s because
“I try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can!”
Comment by Chris Rigby — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 20:21 |
You guys are all so GREAT! Now I’m more embarrassed than ever by my lousy effort. But I’m inspired, too!
Comment by Christina LMT — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 20:43 |
Colored leaves on the north wind, fly.
A well dressed scarecrow, catches my eye.
Pumpkin spice,
sure smells nice.
It’s fall, say to summer, good-bye!
Comment by Firefox — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 21:03 |
A bodacious young lady named Autumn
Went through men just as fast as she caught’em.
When asked if each breast
Was all hers, like the rest
She said “They are now, ’cause I bought’em.”
Comment by vixen — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 21:31 |
Breathing the sweet soft air of Autumn
Banishes thoughts of Winter’s bottom.
But sure as the leaves sway
This season’s last day
Will flee the onrushing cold’s thralldom.
Comment by Ninth Stage — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 21:35 |
There once was a hooker from Yale
For prostitution, she was thrown in jail
She said “I will change
As soon as I arrange
To pay for such a large bail!”
Comment by TrekMedic251 — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 21:40 |
Oh, thank you for the inspiration. I’ve never written a limerick before, but I certainly enjoyed the kick in the synapses! You get two from me because I couldn’t decide which one to submit. 😀
The fall leaves their colors are turning
For long nights of winter I’m yearning
Hint of rain in the air
Bit of fog barely there
In the fireplace logs slowly burning
Fall sunlight slants lower each day
Cool nights keep last heat waves at bay
Geese flocking together
Seek out warmer weather
As fall breezes blow worn leaves away
Comment by Miz Minka — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 21:44 |
You screamed at me with a football roar
As you chewed out my Labrador
“Her winter coat sheds!
She slobbered my legs!”
Then You pointed at the door.
I shook my head sadly and listened some more
“I’m DONE sharing space with that 4-legged whore!
She Ate my new clogs!
I Hate that damn dog!”
Well, the dog and I miss you every morn’.
-MM
Comment by medicmarch. — Tuesday, 23, September, 2008 @ 22:23 |
With leaves slowly starting their flutter
And joining old friends in the gutter,
“Did it ever get started,
This summer departed?”
This grumpy old man’s heard to mutter.
Comment by Doug Harris — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 02:56 |
pretty colors abound this time of year.
leaves falling there, leaves falling here.
wish I could break,
from dragging this rake.
it must be time for a beer
Comment by Dan O — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 06:11 |
The leaves turning golden and red
Can be seen through my window from bed.
A cuppa joe outside,
A mid-morning bike ride,
Crisp air keep the soul well-fed.
Comment by The Captain — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 08:29 |
Fall leaves rain down upon my head.
Such sadness, my heart heavy like lead.
Though the world enters into slumber,
I shall be unencumbered
Because spring is straight ahead.
Forgive the feeble attempt at poetry. It’s my first one in a loooonnnngggg time.
cheers!
Comment by Cicero — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 11:11 |
Some folks hunt rabbits with Beagles
Buck Fever affects both rednecks and regals
I’ll be campin and chillin
A huntin and killin
Too bad bestiality isn’t legal
Comment by Ray — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 11:56 |
We wake now to chillier dawns
And the air’s filled with migrant bird songs.
It’s perfectly clear
That autumn is here,
‘Tis proved by the leaves on our lawns.
Comment by Guncrazy — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 14:18 |
Sam Adams’ Octoberfest Beer
Marks my favorite time of the year.
The weather is good
For a walk in the woods,
Unless you’re a turkey or deer.
Comment by Guncrazy — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 14:53 |
“If it’s Autumn, why’s it so hot?”
Asked a Texas-residing Scot.
“The heat starts to wilt
The pleat of me kilt,
But if I remove it, I’m shot.”
Comment by Matt G — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 17:04 |
Morning air so crisp and clean
While daylight hours run to lean
The leaves they fall
and students do squall
as they find the exams so mean.
Comment by carteach0 — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 17:17 |
A young transplant to Albuquerque
Found the seasons there to be quite quirky.
“When I smell the green chile,
Then the weather gets chilly,
And the fall season makes me feel perky!”
Comment by Harriet — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 19:12 |
‘Tis the fall and the season for cuddling
‘Gainst the chilly winds I will be huddling
Not with some Mr. Right
But with doggies who bite
So through autumn I’ll sadly be muddling.
Comment by Sparrow — Wednesday, 24, September, 2008 @ 22:11 |
Such relief at summer’s departing!
Take joy that autumn is starting!
We’ll eat spicy stews,
and drink hearty brews,
And spend the winter months farting!
Comment by El Capitan — Thursday, 25, September, 2008 @ 14:09 |
The Doctor said
Please go to bed
And sleep for a spell
All because I fell
And bumped my head!
(I’m from England where the season fall is called autumn – so thought I’d right a limerick on the theme from an english point of view!)
Comment by Chapati — Friday, 26, September, 2008 @ 07:57 |
By the way: are you familiar with this blog? Political commentary in limerick form. 🙂
Comment by Miz Minka — Friday, 26, September, 2008 @ 22:12 |
[…] Coroner will be sharing contest duties with me. He began by stepping into the gap last week with a Limerick Contest, and from now on we will alternate weeks. He is offering the same first prize that I am, namely, a […]
Pingback by All Atwitter » Haiku To You — Tuesday, 30, September, 2008 @ 21:21 |
On the damp orchard ground lay a stick
Who turned to say (in limerick)
To the plums that lay there
Who were quite unaware
“We look just like two balls and a dick.”
Comment by Tom — Friday, 21, November, 2008 @ 13:00 |
The temperature still is not falling
Camis and shorts are what’s calling
Autumn’s here, but the trick
is that–what the frick-
Texas weather’s a bitch; it’s stonewalling.
Comment by Khieri — Wednesday, 30, September, 2009 @ 23:21 |
The most colourful season of all
Is Autumn, or else known as fall.
Its when red and brown meet
Falling just at your feet
From a tree oh so tall.
Comment by Kat — Wednesday, 3, November, 2010 @ 03:14 |
I made it up! Copyright!
Comment by Kat — Wednesday, 3, November, 2010 @ 03:16
I couldn’t think of anything for the last line so yeah…
Comment by Kat — Wednesday, 3, November, 2010 @ 03:17