William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Wednesday, 31, August, 2011

If You Aren’t Outraged, You Aren’t Paying Attention

Francesca Rice is a veteran. She owns firearms. Lakewood OH police heard about it, came to her condo, got the super to let them in and took them. Ms. Rice was not arrested, she wasn’t home, they just came an took her property. Ms. Rice owns them legally, but the cops will not return the weapons, worth over $15,000 without a court order. So she’s suing them. Story is HERE (Hat tip, Misfit)

If the people who did this weren’t wearing ugly blue polyester uniforms, this would be called “Grand Theft” and “Breaking and Entering”. The Earth-Bound Misfit suggests sending a copy of the United States Constitution to the Lakewood Chief of Police. I concur.

Chief of Police Timothy J. Malley
Lakewood City Hall
12650 Detroit Avenue
Lakewood, Ohio 44107

Also, the cash-strapped city of Cleveland (who is laying off police officers) is spending money and time on a gun registration program that is a. voluntary and b. has no data about efficacy whatsoever.

This might be a radical idea, but if you’re short of money and crime is a problem, you might want to stop hassling the law-abiding, and shift resources to, oh, I don’t know, actually catching criminals.

Wednesday, 24, August, 2011

Yeah, Summer’s Over

Filed under: Circle Game,Cleveland — williamthecoroner @ 14:49

The marching band was playing this morning. For some reason, they don’t practice on the field next to the school, they walk all the way down to the far side of the oval. It’s easier to hear them.

Sunday, 10, July, 2011

Hit By Train

Filed under: Cleveland,Forensics — williamthecoroner @ 12:31

A man was hit by a train in Lakewood last evening. As the tracks run right through the town, this isn’t a surprise. What’s surprising is that his injuries “Weren’t life threatening.” Hmmmm.

Saturday, 28, May, 2011

Greek Festival

Filed under: Cleveland,Food and Drink — williamthecoroner @ 14:47

It’s  Memorial Day Weekend, and the weekend when the Church of the Annunciation in Tremont has it’s Greek Festival.  The smell of roasting lamb drifts over the neighborhood, and many, many walnuts are wrapped in filo dough and smothered in honey.

It’s amazing how many people you meet at the Greek Festival, I’ve seen old patients, nursing staff and ancillary personnel from many hospitals, and the odd mortician there.

There is a lot of stuff at one of these dos, from the retsina raffle to the Hellenic dancers, which you might expect, to the sales of oil paintings, sheets, jewellery, and the rummage sale.  There are also tours of the sanctuary, and new ikons are added every year.   I try to remember my Greek iconography from my Art History courses, and realize I should have pulled the book out BEFORE I go.

But the major reason people go to the Greek festival is to eat.  Last night the gyro/souvlaki line went twice around the church and down the block.  And that was at 8 pm.  I bought a load of assorted baklava and decided to go to the Polish restaurant instead.  So, this morning I came back and the first slices of lamb were just hitting the grill.  That took care of lunch AND supper.

Friday, 20, May, 2011


Filed under: Cleveland — williamthecoroner @ 21:45

So there I was, driving over the river on route 2, where I see not one, not two, but three lakers coming into the channel and under Conrail Lift Bridge #1  in line ahead formation.  This is still a neat town.

Sunday, 17, April, 2011


Filed under: Cleveland,Natural History — williamthecoroner @ 17:40

You can tell it is getting on for spring in NE Ohio, for the daffodils are sticking their heads up above the ground and bursting forth.  First the little, yellow ones come out, which I have been getting from Giant Eagle at $1.25 a pot and planting them all over.  They came back with enthusiasm, and now the bigger bulbs are coming up.  I have yellow ones with single bells, yellow ones with double bells, white ones with pink bells, white ones with yellow bells, and all sorts of varieties.  I love the fact that these bulbs will naturalize, and fill in areas.  I keep planting them, and they keep dividing, and together we keep ahead of the local squirrels.

Monday, 11, April, 2011

Differently Clued

Filed under: Circle Game,Cleveland,Self mockery — williamthecoroner @ 17:05

So, Dr. Z  are you going to the reunion events in May?

Dr. Z  There’s a reunion in May?

Oh, yeah.  It HAS been 25 years, hasn’t it.  Makes me wonder if Facebook isn’t taking the steam out of the reunion industry, I can stalk my old flames, erm, cough, keep up with old friends, yeah, keep up with old friends, that’s it without much effort

Tuesday, 15, March, 2011


Filed under: Circle Game,Cleveland,Natural History — williamthecoroner @ 09:25

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The Ides of March, when spring comes, the days grow longer, the flowers bloom, and those lovely harbingers of spring, the turkey buzzards, come back to Hinckley, Ohio.

Wednesday, 16, February, 2011

Well, That Was Interesting

Filed under: Cleveland,Forensics — williamthecoroner @ 22:30

I was walking out of the library, and one of the local cops pulling security detail there, says “Hey, aren’t you Dr. Zeus? You did that autopsy over on Norman St., where the drunk guy killed the bartender!  You do good work!”

Which is very nice.  He’s referencing a case from nine years ago and three different jobs ago, but I obviously made an impression on him.  (BTW, it wasn’t Norman St. and it wasn’t a bartender.)

Friday, 11, February, 2011

So, There I Was

Filed under: Cleveland,Haterade,People who need pianos dropped on them — williamthecoroner @ 16:58

Sitting in traffic on a wicked cold day.  In front of me was a silver Prius, with the vanity plate “NOPEC” and a bumper sticker proudly informing that the car’s CO2 output had been taken up by  plantings somewhere.

I was able to notice these things because the smug git driving the Prius cut me off, and then double parked blocking traffic with the engine running to go into a Swillbucks.

I can certainly understand keeping the car idling, it was 9 degrees in the sun.  I think reforestation is a pretty good idea, and I’ all for buying land to be habitat and all that.

The combination of the smug-self-righteousness and the selfish driving made me want to take a fire axe to the vehicle.

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