William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Tuesday, 21, June, 2011

Booty Call Ninjas

Filed under: Links to Greatness,Oddness,WTF? — williamthecoroner @ 10:37

I am not sure if this is a rule of crime or a rule of life; but one should be careful in dealing with ex-lovers.  Particularly ex-lovers who are…peeved.  It seems a man in the peri-Chicago area called his ex-girlfriend and asked her to come over for sex (1).  She agreed, (2) but when he went to go to her car, he was assaulted by a masked figure with nunchuks and throwing stars (3).  He was found in a bloody heap, but identified his ex-girlfriend as one of his assailants (4).  The story is here, H/T Gormogons.

1.  He actually thought this would work?

2. She’s a much better actor than me.

3. Nunchucks and shuriken?  Really?  They went out of their way to get martial-arts weapons?  You can get dimensional lumber and lead pipe at the hardware store, fer crying out loud.  You’ve just given the DA premeditiation.  OK, you get style points for the nunchuks, but those are outweighed by the doofus points.

4. If you’re gonna attack the guy, cover your face TOO.  A smarter idea would be to give it a pass yourself, and have the assailant snatch your purse or something, making you look like a victim, not a perpetrator.

3 Comments »

  1. I haven’t had much luck finding lead pipe at the hardware, er, excuse me, home improvement store lately. But you’re right, the tools of the thug’s trade are available everywhere.

    Makes me wonder if the woman involved was realted to Tonya Harding,

    Comment by Dave H — Tuesday, 21, June, 2011 @ 17:27 | Reply

  2. Idjits, plain and simple on BOTH sides… sigh… At least these two won’t be breeding!!!

    Comment by Old NFO — Tuesday, 21, June, 2011 @ 18:16 | Reply

  3. Some people keep guns in their house, some people keep shuriken and some people keep fifteenth century bastard sword replicas. Just sayin.

    Comment by Meagan — Tuesday, 21, June, 2011 @ 19:43 | Reply


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