William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Friday, 20, May, 2011

Why Didn’t I Think Of That?

Filed under: Cat Blogging — williamthecoroner @ 16:24

It’s Friday, and a special edition of Sappy Cat Blogging.  A group of…people, based in Manhattan, is predicting the rapture at 1800 EDT on Saturday, 21st May.  For those not au courant, The Rapture is a doctrine held by dispensationalist branches of Protestantism, that believe in the ascension of the righteous (144,000 of them) to escape the troubles at the end times.  There is some disagreement about the Second Coming of Jesus, and the Antichrist, and all of that.

The thinking is heavily influenced by the Book of Revelation, and, in my opinion, hallucinogens.  But whatever, this is just one in a series of the “ends of the world as we know it”.  Most of them haven’t come off, see this list for details.  I first learned of it when I saw a bumper sticker “WARNING, In Case of Rapture, This Vehicle Will Be Unmanned.”  and I didn’t understand it until I asked around.   (Yes, I know that that bumper sticker is contradicted by Matt 20:16 and Matthew 6:6.  My car has a SNOOD bumper sticker, which tells you where my priorities are)

Be that as it may, some brilliant minds came up with Atheist Pet Rescue.  If you are concerned that no-one will look after your pets after the rapture, dedicated atheists will (for a fee, but you won’t need money if you’re raptured).  I hear they are doing a land-office business, and they raised their prices with the impending rapture.

Bloody brilliant.  Maybe I’m deficient in my faith, but if my companion animals aren’t coming with me eventually, I don’t wanna go.   I read somewhere that Heaven is where you are reunited with every dog you ever owned, and I really prefer that, thank you very much.

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