William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Sunday, 20, March, 2011

Winter’s First Green Is Gold

Filed under: Circle Game,Food and Drink,Forensics — williamthecoroner @ 15:17

And now we’re within spitting distance of Spring. The first ice cream truck just came down my street, playing “It’s a Small World After All.” This beats the heck out of the ones last year, who kept playing “Turkey in the Straw” until I became homicidal. Anyone got a Barrett I could borrow?

Of course, as my Nana said, “Never take the winter sheets off the bed until June first, and don’t plant until after Memorial Day.” The weather will change. Probably it will change tomorrow. But that reminds me of a story…
A young fellow was trying to run away from the police, as the police wanted to lock him up, and he thought being locked up was no fun. I’m not sure what he was wanted for, no one ever told me, but he was driving a car, when the police stopped him and he hopped out and ran. He ran quick like a bunny, and he was near a dairy on the east side, so he ran into the dairy’s lot, and hid in an ice cream truck.

Not only did he hide in an ice cream truck, he climbed into the freezer compartment, and lay down on the blocks of dry ice, closing the door behind him. The police were unable to find him, but the driver did the next morning, when he went to stock his truck. He found that he would have to add a corpsesicle to the menu, or just call the cops. Which he did, and the decedent was taken to the coroner’s office. Dry ice, as you will recall, gives off CO2, and this guy had suffocated in the anoxic atmosphere. At least he wasn’t arrested.

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3 Comments »

  1. I am not a big fan of ice cream trucks, and I think this stems from my soccer days. I was playing goalkeeper in a game where my team was dominating (I think I got to touch the ball once the entire game). I was lucky enough to have an ice cream truck park next to the field and keep his music on the entire game (this one played “do your ears hang low”). Still loved the corpsesicle story from class.

    Comment by Nikki — Sunday, 20, March, 2011 @ 15:32 | Reply

  2. Corpsicle… 🙂 That is a good one!

    Comment by Old NFO — Tuesday, 22, March, 2011 @ 16:59 | Reply

  3. When I was about 9 years old, we got stuck on the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disney, along with my brother who was about 3. The ride had stalled out, but those damned dolls kept on singing….for all three hours it took to get the ride going again.

    I hate that damned song now. And dolls. And Disney.

    Comment by OleanderTea — Tuesday, 5, April, 2011 @ 20:06 | Reply


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