William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Monday, 13, December, 2010

The Coroner’s 12 Days of Christmas

Filed under: Forensics,Japery — williamthecoroner @ 13:56

On the first day of Christmas, the deskmen gave to me, a live one that shouldn’t be here.
On the second day of Christmas, the deskmen gave to me two tortured loves and a live one that shouldn’t be here.
On the third day of Christmas the deskmen gave to me three bleached bones, two tortured loves, and a live one that shouldn’t be here.

You know the drill.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the deskmen gave to me:

Twelve druggies drugging,
Eleven crackheads piping,
Ten jumpers leaping,
Nine shaken babies,
Eight police shootings
Seven decomps stinking,
Six overlayings,
Five MVAs,
Four working girls,
Three bleached bones,
Two tortured loves,
And a live one who shouldn’t be here!

Hat tip to Robb, Lili, and Doug. I couldn’ta done it without you.
Should I have done this at all, that’s another story.
If it wasn’t for bad taste, I’d have no taste at all.



  1. Then I must also have bad taste ’cause that made me laugh.

    Comment by Overeducated Twit — Wednesday, 15, December, 2010 @ 00:03 | Reply

  2. Thanks, those are GOOD ones 🙂

    Comment by Old NFO — Wednesday, 15, December, 2010 @ 03:12 | Reply

  3. I’ll gladly join the bad-taste ranks, that was funny! Had to look up overlaying but got the rest. –Miz Minka (I’ve grown feathers and moved to WordPress.)

    Comment by mitzimagpie — Sunday, 19, December, 2010 @ 13:55 | Reply

  4. being a native speaker of Italian, and a diligent English student, I should be very grateful if you could help me (dramatically) improve my knowledge of your language by telling me what “overlayings” and “MVAs” are ^_^

    Comment by Any — Wednesday, 29, December, 2010 @ 09:05 | Reply

    • Overlaying occurs when an infant is placed in bed with an adult, and the adult rolls over on the baby during the night, killing it. It usually happens with very young infants, who cannot roll over or move out of the way, and adults that weigh over 70 kg. Often times the adults are incapacitated by drugs and alcohol, but they may just be sound sleepers. Bed-sharing is rather dangerous for the infant.

      An MVA is a Motor Vehicle Accident.

      Comment by williamthecoroner — Wednesday, 29, December, 2010 @ 12:24

  5. thank you very much… I wouldn’t have guessed that in a million years

    Comment by Any — Thursday, 30, December, 2010 @ 05:30 | Reply

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