William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Monday, 19, July, 2010


Filed under: Links to Greatness — williamthecoroner @ 05:27

Found this on Mark Bennett’s Blog. Borderline people are really quite frustrating and seductive. The idealization is very pleasant when it happens, and it just makes the demonization that much more unpleasant when it happens. But these are well worth remembering:

1. If you don’t have to deal with a crazy person, don’t.*
2. You can’t outsmart crazy. (You could outcrazy it, but that makes you crazy too.)
3. When you get in a contest of wills with a crazy person, you’ve already lost.
4. The crazy person doesn’t have as much to lose as you.
5. Your desired outcome is to get away from the crazy person.
6. You have no idea what the crazy person’s desired outcome is.
7. The crazy person sees anything you have done as justification for what she’s about to do.
8. Anything nice you do for the crazy person, she will use as ammunition later.
9. The crazy person sees any outcome as vindication.
10. When you start caring what the crazy person thinks, you’re joining her in her craziness.

*the verb can be replaced with a lot of other verbs, and this is still accurate. Date, marry, work, be related to…etc, etc. and so forth..


  1. Whoa. Who have you heard from recently?

    Comment by CalvinsMom — Monday, 19, July, 2010 @ 09:28 | Reply

    • You know.

      Comment by williamthecoroner — Tuesday, 20, July, 2010 @ 11:07

  2. Excellent points William, and oh so true… I’ve seen that up close with a good friend “trying” to deal with a Brother who has been in and out of institutions his entire life. BiP/Schitzo etc…

    Comment by Old NFO — Tuesday, 20, July, 2010 @ 05:53 | Reply

  3. Oh, I _so_ know this variety [it is not exclusive to relationship type]. And you never know when you’re going to from being “The only person who ever really, truly understands” to “The most domineering, controlling and sabatoging person” in their life. Lots of fun.

    In some cases, there is no “win” other than strategic redeployment in a different time zone.

    [Alas, though — now I’m stuck with the old Madonna tune “Borderline” in my head, and damned if it isn’t a good description now that I review the lyrics]

    Comment by Thoryke — Tuesday, 20, July, 2010 @ 11:03 | Reply

    • Hey, Thoryke, would you please kick me if I start to fall for another person like this? Thanks.

      Comment by williamthecoroner — Tuesday, 20, July, 2010 @ 11:06

  4. I can SO use this at work! 🙂

    Comment by OleanderTea — Tuesday, 7, September, 2010 @ 11:26 | Reply

  5. In the whole process of rescuing my children from the very people who should have been protecting them, my husband and I had to remind ourselves of this list. A lot. Unfortunately, as they say, you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. Kinda hard to un-sibble one’s self from one’s sibling.

    Comment by Auntie J — Sunday, 29, May, 2011 @ 11:32 | Reply

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