William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Tuesday, 7, October, 2008

Limerick Contest

Filed under: Uncategorized — williamthecoroner @ 12:07

I’m late, but I was grading.  It’s time for the Limerick Contest.  A limerick is a five-line poem, with an AABBA rhyme scheme.  This weeks theme is FAIL.  Winner gets a care package sent to a service member in harm’s way.  Contest closes at close of business, Friday, winner announced Monday.


  1. My dog ate my homework, my alarm rang too soon
    Too sick to study, to a cold not immune
    It’s not MY own fault
    this lousy grade that I got
    Must have been the phase of the moon.

    Comment by Brigid — Tuesday, 7, October, 2008 @ 17:37 | Reply

  2. There once was a time I could bail
    on the studying, notes, and details
    But my brain has degraded
    My nerves are abraded
    and the post-mort will outline my fail.

    Comment by Joan of Argghh! — Tuesday, 7, October, 2008 @ 20:38 | Reply

  3. Two weeks to study with no effort seen
    Four days of class with note taking lean
    You failed the test
    Never mind the rest
    Now you have an appointment with the dean.

    The test you say was unfair
    and now you pull out your hair
    A second chance you beg
    After one last keg
    Frankly I’m amazed that you dare.

    Comment by Carteach0 — Tuesday, 7, October, 2008 @ 21:42 | Reply

  4. […] the new every-other-week schedule, this is my Haiku week off, and William the Coroner’s […]

    Pingback by All Atwitter » Haiku Limericks — Tuesday, 7, October, 2008 @ 21:44 | Reply

  5. I once had a 401K,
    I could watch it grow every day.
    Then the market went bust, along with my trust,
    And retirement? Looks like there’s no way!!!

    Comment by Teresa — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 10:39 | Reply

  6. Going back to school is in sight
    On topics known and new I shall bite
    The situation is trying
    My colleague is dying
    He pushes and assures me its right.

    Comment by Enigma — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 11:32 | Reply

  7. Ah, the perfect venting medium for a comp. teacher in the throes of grading hell. This exercise was quite cathartic, and I have a few.

    You write sentence fragments galore,
    Omit commas, conjunctions, and more–
    The organization’s a mess,
    Half-assed at best–
    You rightfully earned this low score.

    I know you’re a snowflake, it’s true,
    And the concept of “standards” is new,
    But don’t blame me
    For that ugly grade D–
    You knew when the paper was due!

    College is rough, you tell me.
    It’s not what you thought it would be.
    You used to make As
    In your high school days;
    Now you’re lucky to even pull Cs.

    Comment by Overeducated Twit — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 14:48 | Reply

  8. There once was a girl in a bar
    Who’s beauty shown bright like a star
    When I asked her if she
    Would go home with me
    She brought forth the feathers and tar

    A wise man once said don’t promise
    For to fail it is not very honest
    And the people who do
    When they fail to come through
    Will forever be looked on as varmints

    Comment by Big Cat — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 15:11 | Reply

  9. this is my beautiful car
    four wheels and space for a bar
    i’d live in a house
    but they kicked me out
    and made me say allah akbar

    Comment by robinstarfish — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 18:21 | Reply

  10. Though forensic lectures can be stale
    Dr. Zeus talks up a gale
    He grades on the bell,
    Students moan “Oh hell”
    As they learn what it means to fail

    Comment by Dan O — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 18:23 | Reply

  11. We had our first test
    We tried our best
    It wasn’t very fair
    So don’t pull out your hair
    and don’t say hell with the rest

    Comment by Disappointed Student — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 22:11 | Reply

  12. I once knew a girl named Sue
    She studied and studied until she was blue
    When the time came she failed the test anyway
    All she could think of was what the hay
    And now what was she going to do

    Comment by Disappointed Student — Wednesday, 8, October, 2008 @ 22:52 | Reply

  13. You sit in my office and rue
    And tearfully ask what to do
    I’m trying for tact
    But alas, I react
    Saying “Might I suggest Rent-a-Clue?”

    Comment by rethoryke — Thursday, 9, October, 2008 @ 07:46 | Reply

  14. On math I have little to say
    For my brain doesn’t work quite that way
    Tell me: “Add two plus two”
    I know not what to do
    Except count on my fingers and pray

    Comment by Sparrow — Thursday, 9, October, 2008 @ 10:11 | Reply

  15. In the car with the DMV guy
    I give driving the old college try
    Then he asks with a snark
    “Can you parallel park?”
    Kiss my dreams of a license good-bye.

    Comment by Sparrow — Thursday, 9, October, 2008 @ 10:15 | Reply

  16. There once was a lady from Denver
    Who borrowed a lot of money from a lender
    To go to school
    Although she sometimes feels like a fool,
    And is studying from now till December.

    On that note, I’m going to go study. The limerick was quite good for the verbal flexibility muscles!

    Comment by Mo — Thursday, 9, October, 2008 @ 20:35 | Reply

  17. The test results are all in
    Oh boy we didn’t win
    It was such a surprise
    But we saw it with our own eyes
    The many excuses have began to wear thin

    Comment by Cool Kat — Friday, 10, October, 2008 @ 10:25 | Reply

  18. I once was an undergrad
    Study habits i never had
    Then I got old
    Went to grad school and told
    “You pass or your ass is grass.”

    Comment by TeaWench — Friday, 10, October, 2008 @ 10:45 | Reply

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