William The Coroner’s Forensic Files

Sunday, 25, May, 2008

Having Cleaned Out the Garage

Filed under: Uncategorized — williamthecoroner @ 23:13

Fully, for the first time in 33 years, I’m firmly applying the rule “If you haven’t touched it in 12 months, you don’t need it. It’s been an interesting bit of suburban archaeology, and I think I know where the possum’s been living, as well as where Murphy first sought shelter from the elements.

But, I do wish to know, in the name of all that is good and holy, why I own five, count’em five pickaxes? Granted, it’s my favourite tool for planting, and can take care of weeding, the blade can extirpate the worst-rooted plant up to a young sapling.

But FIVE???


  1. You probably kept buying them when you couldn’t find one;)…….Your house sounds like mine:)

    Comment by Becky — Monday, 26, May, 2008 @ 06:39 | Reply

  2. Did you hit the Lizzie Borden fire sale or what?

    Comment by Lin — Monday, 26, May, 2008 @ 06:42 | Reply

  3. Y’know, I hadn’t really thought about owning a pick-axe. I don’t know if it would be any easier on my lower back than the style of digging I’ve been using previously [although the smaller Lee Valley shovel has been a godsend]…but now I’ve got a great throw-away lecture line going through my brain: “How were your weekends? Good? I just got back from a long weekend drive, out to visit my friend the coroner; he had some extra pick-axes to get rid of…”

    Comment by Rhet — Monday, 26, May, 2008 @ 09:44 | Reply

  4. You need five because one is for you and the other four are for the guests you invite over to help you. Hee.

    Oh, and my dad did the same thing as well. Whenever he couldn’t find something, he would go out and buy another. Which is why I have five of everything as well.

    Comment by Katie — Monday, 26, May, 2008 @ 13:37 | Reply

  5. I have six sewing machines. But I need them all, really. I do.

    Comment by Shay — Monday, 26, May, 2008 @ 18:18 | Reply

  6. Rhet–They’re particularly good for digging in heavy, clay soil. Just chunk it into the ground an lever out a bit to put the bulbs in. Then stamp the clod back into the ground.

    It does look funny when I go plant things on my Grandfather’s grave, though.

    Shay–yeah, yeah, yeah.

    Comment by williamthecoroner — Monday, 26, May, 2008 @ 19:49 | Reply

  7. It’s on the same theory as ball point pens.

    There never seems to be one where you need it.

    Now, as we KNOW there are pens, but not where we need it, the problem must be the ‘where we need it’ and not the fact there are not any pens. The answer is simple.. More pens, till we reach a saturation point and there are pens everyplace we might need one.

    It’s an old theory and works decently, but I have never heard it
    applied to pickaxes before. Must be a coroner thing…..

    Comment by Carteach0 — Tuesday, 27, May, 2008 @ 05:14 | Reply

  8. Coroner…pickaxe… Not EVEN gonna touch that one 🙂

    Comment by Old NFO — Tuesday, 27, May, 2008 @ 19:57 | Reply

  9. I do something similar, only with books. If I can’t find the one I want, I’ll buy a new copy…and end up with five copies of the same book!

    Comment by crankyprof — Wednesday, 28, May, 2008 @ 06:44 | Reply

  10. I’ll take one. I’m taking the provost… uh, on a picnic, yeah, a picnic. I need the pickaxe… uh, in case we run into any poison ivy. Yeah, that’s it. Poison ivy. There’s lots of poison ivy down by the river where we’re going on our picnic.

    Comment by Angry Professor — Wednesday, 28, May, 2008 @ 18:05 | Reply

  11. Where the hell were you and your five pickaxes when we were trying to dig out the back yard that consists entirely of clay???

    As for cleaning out the garage…I’m seriously considering giving almost everything I have out there to charity. I don’t need all those cute little glasses, or the second set of “everyday” plates. Srsly.

    Comment by Heather — Thursday, 29, May, 2008 @ 19:08 | Reply

  12. […] of this when I was out in the garden last night, working off some exasperation with one of my five mattocks like this one: It had done wonderful work getting rid of the big prickly weed with a root that went […]

    Pingback by Somewhere Between Gardening and Exasperation « William The Coroner’s Forensic Files — Thursday, 5, June, 2008 @ 15:43 | Reply

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